TickTock Goes the Glass Wristwatch
by Rikotsu-sama
Summary: SPOILERS! After October 4th, Minako is lost and her heart is torn to pieces. How could happiness find her again amidst all the forces vying for a chance at taking her life... including herself? One person will brave the void for her. ShinjixFMC AkixFMC
1. Chapter 1

I'm currently on my third play-through of P3, first play-through of P3P with 50 hours on the file. And being the obsessive fangirl I am, came up with this premise.

WARNINGS: **SPOILERS!** (starting at about October 4th, but this fiction might go through the end of P3P); S!LINK spoilers; angst, self-injury/depression; Minako is the female main character and, as such, is written subjectively from how I think she would react and act in the game based upon if she built up certain social links.

Disclaimer: I do not own Persona 3, Persona 3 Portable, or any of the characters and storyline from them. I also do not own some of the speech taken from events in the game and social link events that is included in events here. The writing here and certain storyline elements that differ from the game are mine.

Summary: SPOILERS! After October 4th, Minako is lost and her heart is torn to pieces. How could happiness find her again amidst all the forces vying for a chance at taking her life... including herself? One person will brave the void for her, his only hope that she won't be lost forever. Love had nothing to do with it, but maybe, in the end, it will.

Genre(s): Angst/Romance/Tragedy

Words this Chapter: 8,268

"**Tick-tock Goes the Glass Wristwatch"**

**Rikotsu-sama**

Chapter 1

"Pain is like fabric. The stronger it is, the more it's worth."

-John Green, _The Fault in Our Stars_

10/7 Daytime

Her fingers rested on the cool, brown leather on her wrist and her eyes stared as the second-hand ticked away moments of her life. After two days of skipping, Yukari had finally persuaded Minako to attend school. So there she sat, the rough tips of her fingers fiddling with the wristwatch.

"I choose… Minako!"

She blinked her eyes, clearing away the tears that had lifted and looked up. Swallowing, she asked, "What?"

"Why is the cape red in bull fights?" her teacher repeated, an impatient tone souring her voice.

"I honestly don't care," Minako whispered to herself, looking back at her watch. It was almost the end of the day.

"What was that?" The question was still directed at Minako from her teacher, growing more angry by the moment.

"The answer is because it excites the audience, but I said that I don't care why," Minako answered, a resolute anger of her own making the tightness in her throat disappear.

"That is no way to speak to me," her teacher gasped.

"I cannot apologize for being disinterested," Minako said frankly.

Her teacher clenched her fists and swallowed back harsh words. Simply pointing to the door, she stated, "Go to the principal's office."

Sighing, Minako shoved the book she never bothered to open back in her bag and walked out of the room without a glance back at her peers.

When the door closed behind her, Yukari shot a look at Junpei. His mouth agape, he returned her gaze with a worried one of his own.

"What is the matter with our leader?" Aigis asked Yukari.

"Quiet down. We still have fifteen minutes, so let's finish this material," the teacher continued on, as if Minako's disturbance hadn't happened at all.

10/7 After School

Sitting in the faculty office in one of the chairs by the doorway to the principal's office, Minako's other teachers who weren't currently in class peered at her with curious looks, though she took no notice of them. Her fingers still on the watch, she again watched as the seconds ticked away. She shouldn't have let Yukari drag her back to school. It was a waste of her time.

"Minako Arisato?" came an elderly voice. It took her a moment before she looked up into the face of her pudgy principal. "Come inside, dear." He swept his arm inside, gesturing for her to enter.

Sighing, Minako stood and dragged herself into his stuffy office. The Autumn air was stale in his office as she took a seat on one of the plastic chairs facing his desk. Her legs stuck to the sweaty, beige plastic before the principal even took his seat.

"So, Miss Arisato, why are you here today?" The smoker's rasp of the principal made his words scratchy, like worn-down carpet against bare feet.

"My teacher sent me here," she stated simply.

"Well, yes, that much I know. For what, I would like to hear from you."

"I told her that I didn't care," Minako sighed, crossing her arms.

"About?"

"I didn't care about the answer to her question. And I told her I couldn't— or wouldn't, rather, apologize for my disinterest in class."

"And why are you disinterested?"

"I doubt you honestly care why. You just want to know how you can fix the deviant who is disrupting your perfect little social environment and breaking the rules. You don't actually care that one of your students for all intents and purposes _died_ two three days ago. I bet you don't even know his name." Now standing, Minako couldn't hold back the tears she had been waiting all day to cry. "He is hooked up to machines that he will never live without. He won't even wake up! But all you care is that I'm acting up in class! I have no respect an administration that only cares about order, not the welfare and health of its students." Wiping away some of the tears with her sleeve, Minako slung her bag back over her shoulder and stormed from the office.

The walk from the faculty office to the front gate felt like a walk of shame, but Minako, despite the tears and despite the looks from students, kept going. At the front gate, she took a left and walked away from the train station, to the far wall of the school. No one came here but the smokers at lunchtime, but because the bell run more than half an hour ago, they would be long gone. turning the corner, Minako leaned back against the cool, shadowed wall.

She sobbed, lifting her hands to cover her mouth. The tears renewed themselves as she slumped down against the wall and buried her head in her hands.

When she felt someone sit down next to her, their shoulders touching, Minako looked up through blurry eyes at her intruder. Her sobs worsened, and she hid her face again. They slipped their hand around her shoulders and stroked her with their thumb, but said nothing. There was nothing _to_ say. Because they understood, better than anyone else, why Minako cried. They understood why she hid her face from them.

Time stretched on in front of them for a long time even after Minako's sobbing stopped and neither moved. It was all they needed: to feel each other there. To not feel quite so completely abandoned even for just a little while.

"Why did you follow me?" Minako asked, her voice unshaken by her previous tears.

"I thought you could use a friend."

Looking up at him, a weak smile tugged at her lips. "Thanks, Akihiko."

A smile was his response.

Sighing, Minako stretched out her legs and looked up at the sky. Scarce clouds were shrouded themselves by the darkening sky. He removed his arm from her shoulders and she made no protest.

Feeling another bout of tears threatening to spill over, Minako stood up.

"Are you going home?" he asked. She nodded, swallowing. "Let me go with you."

"No," Minako said, the tightness in her throat shrinking her voice. "I want to walk home by myself."

"Minako," he began, standing up himself.

"Stop it, Akihiko," she insisted, the tears starting up again. "I understand who Shinji was to you. But Shinji was someone to me too. He was more to me than I could ever express. I never knew I could feel this way for anyone until Shinji."

"What do you…? What do you mean, Minako?" Akihiko asked, looking at her with confusion in his eyes.

"I know we aren't close, Akihiko. The only thing we had in common was Shinji. And now he's gone. So you don't have to pretend that we're friends. You don't have to pretend you like me because I know you never have. I appreciated that when you saw me and Shinji get close you were nice to me, but I don't need you to sympathize with me now. There's nothing left between us except SEES. So, I'd appreciate if you left our relationship completely professional." Her voice cracked each time she said his name, and she knew he noticed. Picking up her bag, Minako turned to leave.

"Even if he's gone, our relationship to him still connects us, Minako," he said to her. She didn't stop walking away. "If you don't let me in, let _someone_ in, Minako!" he shouted after her. "You don't have to be alone!" When she was gone, Akihiko sighed, sitting back down against the wall with her in his memory.

Minako took the back door inside, but couldn't avoid the attention of Koromaru. "Hey, there, boy. Shhh," she hushed to the response of whining. He licked her out-stretched hand and whined again in concern.

"He says that he wants to know why you're sad."

Looking up from the dog she helped rescue, Minako met the robotic eyes of Aigis. "I just want to be alone, please, Aigis. Koro-chan, stay here." With that, Minako snuck upstairs without the others noticing and in her room, she closed and locked the door behind her.

She dropped her bag carelessly by her desk, pulled off her shoes and stripped off her clothes. Standing in front of her full-length mirror, Minako crossed her arms over her naked breasts and stared at her nude body. Red, unhealed cuts decorated her hips and thighs. Sighing, she sat down on her bed where she couldn't see herself in the mirror and pulled the razor from the nook in her desk.

Looking at the pale skin of her abdomen, she started to cut. After the first slice, the tears began to flow for the umpteenth time that day. As she cut and cut, the blood began to meander down her stomach. The physical relief to the emotional anguish rushed through her.

A knock on her door startled Minako.

"Minako?" It was Yukari's voice. "Are you in there?"

"Just go away," she shouted at her friend.

"Minako, I want to help you. Please, let me in. We should talk."

"No, just go away!"

"Dammit. Let me in!"

Minako didn't bother replying. The apathy had begun to set in from her release. She set down the razor on the edge of her sink and grabbed a black hand towel from the cabinet.

Yukari continued to call to her and bang on the door for almost ten minutes.

Dampening the hand towel, she smoothed away the blood, some of it already dried. A fresh batch of scars to remind her. _Never forget. You can't forget_, they tell her. _You told him you wouldn't go anywhere._

She set her hands on the sink and leaned on them, letting her half-untied hair fall in front of her face. "I can't let him go…" she whispered, choking again.

Closing her eyes, she could hear his voice again.

"_This is your fault, you know. I'm all confused."_

Feel his hands again.

_His hands gripped at her back, digging in deliciously. "You're all I can think about, day and night…" _

Breathe in his scent again.

_She sniffed softly and his indescribable, unique and distinctly masculine smell. "Dammit, this isn't how it's supposed to be…" He let her go, leaving his hands on her elbows. The space between them was miniscule. "You get it, right? Go back to your room."_

_She shook her head softly, lifting her hands to touch his forearms. _

"_If you don't go now, you're not gonna get another chance," he continued, looking into her chocolate eyes intensely. _

"_I'm not going anywhere!" Minako insisted, pulling him closer. She could feel his sigh on her lips. _

"_You're a real piece of work, you know that…?" His smile was contagious, spreading across her lips in an instant. "I'm gonna make myself clear… I ain't holding back anymore." He slid his hands up her arms, across her shoulders, up her neck and rested on her cheeks. _

"_I never wanted you to hold back, Shinji," she whispered to his lips. As he neared, she held her breath. A month ago, this would have been unfathomable. Now, she burned for it. This is what she had been waiting for: a love that would sweep her off her feet and in no time at all, own her completely. Shinji was who she had always been waiting for. _

_He stopped a fraction of an inch from her lips for only a moment before taking the plunge. The kiss was sweet and soft. Minako, smiling into his lips, pulled him closer by the flaps of his coat. Taking the hint, he pushed forward hungrily, tasting her mouth, possessing it. _

_He moved his arms to her waist and spun her, pushing her backwards. She held onto his coat and followed his slow footsteps. Never once did their lips part. _

_When she felt his bed behind her legs, she let him lower her down to the soft surface with a softness she never knew he possessed. His forearms framed her face as he looked down at her, his eyes dark. Smiling up at him, she pulled off his beanie and tossed it away. His hair spilled out in careless waves. _

"_Sorry, I know I should cut it," he apologized, a blush tinting his cheeks. _

_Minako laughed, raking her hands through his hair and pulling it back. "I like it…" she whispered as she rolled them over, now straddling him. "There's more to hold onto."_

_He smiled into her kiss and their tango began again. He slid his hands up her thighs, hiking up her skirt to her waist. She shivered at the touch. "Minako, do you…?"_

"_Keep going," she whispered to him as he sat up, her still straddling his lap. "I want this… I want you," she told him, looking straight into his eyes. _

"_Minako…" _

"_I love you," she said, voice a little shaken. "Do you…?"_

"_You have no idea how in love with you I am, Minako." He told her, pulling her closer. "I've never felt this way for anyone…"_

_Minako let go of the breath she didn't know she was holding and laughed._

She shook herself from her memory to find more tears dripping from her face into the sink. Every day she would relive those endless moments and the ones that followed. She would see his smile, taste his lips, feel his breath on her neck, hear his voice call out her name. And every day she would relive the loss.

_Boom. _

_Minako felt her heart drop at the sound. _

_Catching sight of Akihiko up ahead, Minako took off. Her tennis-player lungs held strong through the sprint, but gave out at the sight before her. As the narrow alleyway expanded into the area behind the Port Island Station, Minako couldn't breathe. _

_The man with the gun was nowhere to be seen, but she could still hear the shot ringing in her ears. _

_All she could see was Shinji on the ground, Akihiko by his side and a pool of blood gathering. She couldn't hear herself scream, but she must have because Ken looked up from his mother's murderer dying on the ground to look at Minako, then back at him._

_Ken was crying as Shinji spoke to him, "Heh... Why the long face? Isn't this... what you wanted? It's alright... Give yourself time... Let your anger be your strength. You're still just a kid, Ken... You got your whole life ahead of ya… So don't waste it… Make it your own… Okay?"_

_Ken sobs, "But I… I…"_

_Shinji looks to Akihiko who is crying furiously, trying to put pressure on the wounds. "Take care of 'im, Aki."_

"_...I will," he wept. _

_Minako, just watching the scene unfold, finally couldn't hold herself up. Not two feet away, her legs gave out as she watched the man she loved dying. "Shinji?" she whimpered, knowing he couldn't hear her. "Shinji, please don't leave me."_

"_Don't cry… Minako…" he choked out. _

_She looked up from the blood to his face and crawled the remaining room over to him, shoving Akihiko out of the way. "Shinji. Shinji! Please…" _

"_This is how… it should be…" he told her, before breaking into a fit of coughing. _

"_No, Shinji, please!" she cried out. In an instant, she whipped out her evoker and called out, "Saki Mitama!" And the yellow persona spawned in the air above her. "Diarama!" But the persona did nothing. _

"_I am sorry, Master, but I cannot heal," Saki Mitama told her, a frown on its lips. _

"_What? Why the hell not?" she shouted at it._

"_You have used up too much magic energy in the battle with Fortune and Strength. I apologize, Master. There is nothing I can do," it answered before fading back into her mind. _

_Minako dropped the evoker by her side, utterly defeated. _

_As the others began shouting about getting him to a hospital, Minako couldn't move. She sat by his side, stroking his hair as his shallow breath continued. _

_Eventually they pulled her away, practically carrying her with them to the hospital. _

The doctor's prognosis was grave. Shinji couldn't breathe on his own, and had no chance of ever waking up.

And again she looked at her reflection in the mirror. It was worse than it had ever been. Dark bags adorned her eyes, uncharacteristic lines accented her brow and mouth, and her lips were chapped and bleeding.

She could almost hear it— his voice saying, _"You look like shit, why don't you go to sleep?"_

And she begins to remember all the things she wouldn't get to do with him. She would never spoon with him on a lazy afternoon, she would never take a nap with him, she would never dance with him, she would never swing with him at the park, she would never see a movie with him, she would never kiss him in the rain, or screw him in a closet. All the things she had imagined they would be able to do, they wouldn't. Couldn't. It was stolen from her. Her happily ever after was taken by a couple of bullets and a member of Strega.

But she didn't want revenge so much on the man from Strega. The elementary schooler who had taken Shinji away from her that night, who had compelled Shinji to sacrifice his life for him… that was who Minako placed the blame and her hate. Ken Amada. The name sickened her. Sure, the kid had watched Shinji kill his mother, but getting him killed in return was not fair revenge. Shinji did not mean to kill his mother, but Ken had meant to kill Shinji; though he didn't pull the trigger of the gun, he killed him. And for that— for killing the man she loved, Minako would never forgive him.

She would not kill him as Ken killed Shinji for revenge, but she would make him aware of whom he hurt. Of whom he stole from her.

Tearing herself away from her reflection, she tugged on a pair of panties, pajama bottoms, and the t-shirt she had stolen from Shinji when she scurried upstairs after that night she spent in his room. It still smelled like him and she entombed herself in his scent and its comfort as another wave of tears overtook her when she curled up in bed.

The tears carried her into a fitful slumber.

10/11 Early Morning

A knock came at her door at eight in the morning the following Saturday. Sitting up just enough to squint at the clock across the room, Minako groaned and flopped back down. Was it too much to ask for people to just leave her alone and let her attempt to sleep away the sorrow?

"Open up, Minako."

"Go away," she groaned. It didn't matter who was at the door. She didn't want to talk to anyone.

They sighed and Minako heard the person at the door fumble with keys before her door opened.

"Dammit, why do you have the chairman's keys, Akihiko?" she sighed, turning her head to look at her intruder. The look on his face was one of shock when the blur in her eyes cleared.

"What did you do to yourself?" he almost growled, walking over to her.

"What?" she asked, still groggy. Stretching her arms, she noticed her shirt was bunched up below her bust, exposing her stomach. In a moment of panic, she shot up, pulling it down.

"Did you…?" he asked, taking another step closer.

"It's none of your business what I do with my body," she spat at him, hugging her arms around her stomach.

Akihiko looked at her skeptically, anger in his eyes. "I know it isn't my business how you choose to mutilate your body, but I'm fairly certain Mitsuru would have a field day with this information."

Minako looked angrily up at her intruder. "You wouldn't dare tell her."

Akihiko stared stonily back at her. "Spend the day with me today and I'll think about not telling her."

"Blackmail?" she wondered aloud, cocking an eyebrow.

He stared back at her, not replying.

"Well I don't really have a choice, do I?" she sighed, swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

"No," he answered. "Now get dressed. I'll be waiting for you in the lobby."

"In my uniform?" she asked, noticing as she stood up that Akihiko himself was not in his uniform.

"No, school isn't where you should be right now," he said as he turned to leave. "Just wear something you can move in."

"Then where…?"

"You'll see, just hurry up." He shut the door behind him.

Sighing, Minako locked the door behind him and looked at herself in the mirror. Still she looked like shit. She took a minute to brush her gangly hair back into a pony tail again, clipping back the wisps around her face. She didn't change her shirt, but pulled on some loose jeans and her tennis shoes. She grabbed a sweater from her closet in case it was cold outside, and walked downstairs.

"Oh good, you're up and about," Mitsuru exclaimed as Minako got to the lobby. "Where's your uniform? Hurry and go change or you'll be late for school."

"She isn't going today, and neither am I," Akihiko told his classmate, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Why? Midterms are in less than a week! There's no way you'll catch up!" Mitsuru was flabbergasted at the two ditchers.

"It's not what we need right now. And I'm sure you'll let me borrow your notes and Yukari will similarly let Minako borrow hers," Akihiko explained, walking over to Minako. "Right, Yukari?" he called over his shoulder to the girl in pink who was waiting by the door.

"Oh, uh, right," Yukari answered.

Akihiko took Minako's hand and began to lead her out the door. "We'll be home late, so no Tartarus tonight, okay?" He didn't wait for an answer from Mitsuru, just lead Minako out the front door and down the steps. When he let go of her hand, Minako held it tightly against her chest.

"Don't lead me around like I'm a stray puppy," she barked at him as he started down the sidewalk.

"I just wanted to get you away from Mitsuru before she ate you alive for ditching," he explained as she caught up with his stride.

She scoffed and let him take the lead. They took the monorail to Tatsumi Port Island and were heading toward school.

"I thought we weren't going to school," she wondered aloud.

"We're not. C'mon, we're almost there," he encouraged, increasing his pace a fraction.

It took them another five minutes of walking before they ended up at a studio near Paulownia Mall. "This is where we're going?" she asked.

"Yeah, this is where I come to train outside boxing practice sometimes," he said, a small smile on his lips.

They entered the small studio to the smell of stale sweat and BO. "If I had known that's what you'd meant by wear something I can move in, I wouldn't have worn jeans," she admitted as they made their way through the workout studio to a small area with lockers.

Akihiko opened a locked one that must have been his and tossed in things like his cell phone and wallet and pulled out a water bottle and towel. "You wanna put a couple things in here?" he asked her, his hand on the door.

She nodded and pulled out her keys and wallet, just now noticing she hadn't even thought to bring her cell phone. Placing them in the locker, Akihiko led her past a lot of what looked like college-student-aged men and brought her into a small off-shoot room. It was fairly small but plenty big enough for two people to do a variety of activities.

Akihiko pulled out a couple of mats from a rack on the far wall and put them on the ground fairly close to each other.

"Stretching first. Don't want you getting hurt," he said, beginning with leg stretches.

"Right," she murmured. First, Minako rolled her jeans up to above her knees then she stripped off Shinji's shirt, tossing it next to Akihiko's water bottle. All her fresh cuts were exposed beneath her sports bra, but she didn't care. Akihiko had already seen them and she didn't w— _couldn't_ risk Shinji's shirt ending up smelling like her sweat.

Discarding her thoughts, she took her place on the mat next to Akihiko and began to stretch like she did at tennis practice. She had to admit that stretching had always been a therapeutic exercise for her, gave her time to slow down and think. But now, that was the last thing she needed more of.

"_This is your fault, you know. I'm all confused."_

Swallowing, Minako pushed away the memory, but she could feel the tears surfacing. She paused between sit ups and took a deep breath.

"Breathing hard already? I didn't know you were that out of shape," Akihiko teased, not bothering to look at her.

Minako didn't respond, just took a moment to take another breath to force back the tears.

"_You're all I can think about, day and night…" _

"Can we get to something other than stretches?" she asked, sitting up and looking at him.

"Are you always this impatient?" he chuckled, straightening to look back at her.

"No, just when people blackmail me into working out with them." The sarcasm dripped off her words like venom.

"Fine then. You wanna learn how to box?"

"I still don't have a choice, do I?"

Akihiko laughed as both of them stood. Akihiko pulled some hand wraps out of the towel that she hadn't seen and wrapped them swiftly and skillfully around his wrists and hands. "Do you want me to wrap your wrists or can you?" he asked.

"I don't know how to," she answered, watching as he pulled out a couple more ace bandages.

"Give me your hand," he told her. Reluctantly, she complied and held out her hand.

"You have to take off that watch," he told her.

Looking at her wrist, she hadn't even noticed it was still there. She just never took it off. She lifted her other hand to the strap and fingered it for a moment.

"Shinji gave me this," she murmured, loud enough that he could hear her.

"It's not going to go anywhere if you take it off," he told her, taking her hand in his. In a slow moment, his eyes more on her face than on the watch, he unbuckled the leader wristwatch and set it down by his water bottle. He still watched as she stared, frowning, down at the watch. He didn't push further about the subject.

He took her hand back in his and after a split moment of lingering, his rough fingers began to wrap her wrist tightly. One after the other, he wrapped her hands. "There you go. Now do you want to start with drills?"

"Why don't we just spar?" she suggested, stepping back a couple paces and rolling her wrists, getting used to the tightness of the wrap.

"But you've never…" he said, but was interrupted by a right hook from her. He ducked and took a step back, getting his footing.

"I think I can hold my own," she told him, taking stance nimbly.

"Alright, but don't blame me if you lose." He shot up with a punch towards her chest, but she sidestepped, landing a mid-kick to his abdomen before they both took stance again. "Oh, so it's that kind of sparring."

"I don't have my naginata, so you're at a huge advantage. I think I should be allowed to use everything at my disposal." She grinned and bounced a little, getting used to the tightness of her jeans on her thighs.

"Very well," he agreed. "Your move, then."

"This isn't chess. Come at me," she taunted.

As his next barrage came, she dodged and blocked as best she could, looking for her opening to go on the offensive. Stuck on the defensive, Minako had the opportunity to observe Akihiko's style without shadows in the way and without him stopping midway and whipping out his evoker. It was smooth and nearly flawless. It was no wonder why he was captain of the boxing team at Gekkoukan.

In an instant, there it was: her opening. Darting down to avoid a punch, she flew up and socked Akihiko in the chin. He staggered backwards, a small amount of blood oozing from his lip, but he didn't have more than a moment to recover.

Now on the offensive, Minako did her best to not leave herself open, but he hit her square in the jawbone after half a minute and the tides were back in his favor.

"You're good for someone who isn't trained in hand-to-hand combat," he laughed.

"Thanks, you're better than I thought you'd be," she wheezed, her breath becoming labored.

"That might be the nicest thing you've said to me." His smile flashed before her in between blocks.

She didn't respond, just concentrating on dodging and getting in shots where she could. Unfortunately, the quiet in her mind led her to think about him again.

"_You're a real piece of work, you know that…?"_

All the memories did was anger her now as the endorphins began to pulse and flow through her veins. But nevertheless, furious tears began to fall.

"Are you alright?" Akihiko asked, pausing long enough for her to notice the opening and take it. "Minako, stop." He dodged her punch and used her outstretched arm as a chance to stop her. Grabbing it, then the other as it shot out, he effectively stopped her from attacking him again. "Minako, Minako!"

She sobbed noisily, going limp against him.

Catching her, he held her upright as she cried into his shirt. She took a grip on his shirt and leaned on him. "Minako…" he whispered, holding her.

"I… I miss him," she sobbed out, looking up through bleary eyes at him.

All he could do was nod, pulling her closer, one hand on her back the other on her neck. He rested his cheek on her head as she cried. There wasn't anything he could say that would heal this wound. There wasn't anything he could do to patch it up. Just wait. And keep her safe. Because if no one could do that, they might all lose her. And even though he didn't know her like the others did, she was their leader. And they couldn't afford to lose her like they lost Shinji.

This was happening all too often: her letting him see her cry. And she didn't like it, but she couldn't help it because he was the only thing, literally, keeping her standing at that moment. Her legs had long given out, but he just held her upright and waited for her to finish. She hated showing moments of weakness, especially to people she didn't like, but Akihiko just seemed to have a way of always seeing her at her worst.

The tears subsided and Minako caught her breath. Waiting only a moment, she let go of Akihiko's shirt and pushed out of his embrace. Reluctantly, he let her go. Wandering over to their stuff, Minako took a seat. Following her, Akihiko took a seat on the other side of it against the wall.

Picking up the water bottle, Akihiko took a long drink, then held it out to her. "Want some?"

She nodded in thanks and drank down the rest of the bottle before handing it back.

Glancing at her watch on the floor, Akihiko noticed it was past nine. "You wanna shower then grab some breakfast?"

Silence met his question and he looked up at her. Her head was back against the wall, her eyes looking at the ceiling. Her hands rested on her legs.

"Minako?"

"I don't understand…" she said, the hitch in her throat still present. "I don't understand why you're doing this. You've never liked me. Why choose now to start doing these things?"

"Because I can't just watch you give up."

"I haven't given up."

"Not yet, but all those cuts," he pointed at her stomach where the plethora of small red marks were still fresh, a couple bleeding from their sparring. "That's the beginning of the road to giving up."

"Why do you even care if I give up?"

"You're our leader."

"Mitsuru could easily replace me. Even you could. I'm expendable."

"The bonds you have with them are something that isn't expendable."

She looked over at him, her eyes dry and bloodshot. His gray eyes (1) looked back at her, confidence in them.

"But why do _you_, out of everyone, care this much?"

"Because I understand what you're going through more than anyone else."

A small laugh fell from her lips. "I keep forgetting that I'm not the only one he left behind…"

A silence bathed in melancholy thoughts settled over them like night falling over the sea.

It was true, and though she didn't want to admit it, that Shinji had left behind much more than just her. He'd left behind a life and friends and Akihiko. Maybe Akihiko was even more left behind than she was. After all, they had been friends for nearly their whole lives. She had only known Shinji a few months and as for being lovers, that didn't even last two days. Maybe she had no right at all to be this sad. To mourn him like this. Maybe she had no right to love him at all.

Her spiraling thoughts only left her more depressed. She felt like crying again, but her pride held them back. Akihiko would not see her break down again.

"Were you and Shinji…?" His voice as gravelly.

"Let's just say we were more than friends and leave it at that," she said, her voice coming out close to a growl.

"He never told me…" he whispered solemnly.

"He didn't exactly have much time to tell you…" she answered, softening her tone.

"Oh." was all he could say.

An awkward silence stretched out in front of them.

"That shower is sounding really nice," she said frankly, grabbing her watch and Shinji's shirt and standing up.

"Yeah…" Akihiko replied, similarly eager to change the subject of conversation.

He showed her to the women's shower, singular, which was an awkward little room with a locking doorknob, a shower with cracked, off-white cement tiling separated by a partially ripped shower curtain from a toilet, small bench, and a sink. Lacking shower items, Minako showered off the sweat under a cold drizzle. Using a towel she borrowed from Akihiko, she dried off and pulled on her clothes again. When she exited, she found him sitting on a bench by his locker, his towel about his shoulders and his hands on his knees.

"Where're we going for breakfast?" she wondered aloud, pulling her keys and wallet from his open locker.

"Most places have probably switched to lunch by now, so how about Hagakure?" standing, Akihiko rubbed the towel around in his hair one more time before tossing it in the locker and pulling on a fresh t-shirt.

"Sure," she replied, avoiding his eyes as she too put her towel in his locker.

The walk to Hagakure was quiet. Neither had anything to say, even through their food they stayed silent. Only once they were standing outside Hagakure, their checks paid, did they speak again.

"So where to next?" Minako asked, looking at her companion.

"This way," was all he said, turning and walking towards who knows where.

She jogged a couple steps to catch up with him and let him lead the way to their next destination, knowing that he probably wouldn't tell her where that was even if she asked.

Minutes later, Minako stopped dead in her tracks, the hospital looming overhead. "We're not…" she whispered.

"C'mon, Minako. You should see him," Akihiko told her, stopping a few feet ahead and looking back at her.

"No. No— I can't," she murmured, shaking her head. The tightness in her throat was returning, tears welling up in her eyes.

"You need to," he insisted, walking back to her and wrapping an arm around her waist to lead her forward.

"No," she said, louder this time. "No!" She wiggled out of his grasp and pushed him away. He whispered her name. "No, I don't want… I can't…" she blubbered, tears now streaming down her face.

"C'mon," he urged, again pulling her forward by the waist.

Unable to protest for lack of feeling in her legs, she hobbled towards the hospital with Akihiko as support. It a few minutes, they were standing outside his room, a piece of white printer paper with his name printed and tapped to the plaque, "Room 207, Shinjiro Aragaki".

Trembling and still crying, Minako leaned against the opposite wall, staring at the sign.

Akihiko opened the door and held it for her, holding out his hand to her without a word.

She stayed like that for a few minutes before glancing at Akihiko. Swallowing, she forced herself off of the wall and took his hand. He pulled her gently inside, closing the door behind them.

The mechanical beeping of machines filled the room alongside the inflating and deflating of the manual breathing device. But all she could hear was his silence; all she could see was him. His hair framed his face; his beanie must have been thrown away and his clothes too. The blood had been cleaned from his hair and everything looked pristine. A white hospital gown, white sheets, white pillow, white walls. The only spot of color was a small mixed bouquet sitting on his end table.

Clasping her free hand to her mouth, the tears restarted. She held onto Akihiko's hand tightly, perhaps too tightly, and just shook.

Akihiko gestured to the bed and kindly pushed her forward, forcing her to let go of his hand.

She stumbled forward, her footsteps echoing on the linoleum. At the edge of the bed, she stopped and looked down at his face. It looked exactly the same, but his frown lines were gone. One might call it serene. But all Minako could see was the face of the man she'd lost.

"Akihiko, why…" she whispered, pushing back a sob.

He didn't reply, knowing she didn't need an answer to her half-question. All he could do was cross his arms and watch the reunion of lovers. He knew that she hadn't come to visit since that first night. She needed to see him. She might never recover if she didn't. So he would be the asshole who forced her to face it. He could handle her wrath. That was fine. Just so long as she clung to someone other than the man on the bed.

The first step to healing is facing the facts.

Shinji lying in that bed, unable to wake, was the fact of the matter.

And so he watched, silent as the grave.

Minako reached out her hand, trembling almost violently towards his face. Slowly, she touched it, caressed it. She let out a half-laugh and a melancholy smile crossed her lips. He was warm. And had grown stubble. He felt… exactly the same. And that was more heartbreaking than anything else.

She let her hand slip away and let it rest in his. His hands were, too, the same. Big, warm, rough. And she held on tight.

In moments, she couldn't handle it. Her legs gave out and she collapsed, her hand still holding Shinji's. Sobs wracked her body to the point where she could barely breathe.

And he let her break down, because he knew that she needed to.

A long while passed before she was quiet again, on her knees and still clutching Shinji's hand like one might the Bible. She took a deep breath and wiped her tears on the sleeves of her shirt with her free hand. She stood on wobbly legs and looked at him again for a moment before she turned to Akihiko.

Her entire face was red from the tears, her eyes were bloodshot and she continued to sniffle. She looked worse than the day before.

"He feels exactly the same, y'know," she said, glancing at her hand still clutching Shinji's. "And he looks exactly the same. But…" she swallowed, "but this isn't Shinji. He can't wake up, so his soul isn't here. Shinji is already dead. This is just a shell being forced to breathe." Tears welled up a little again, so she took a moment to close her eyes and breathe before she continued, "Even though here he is, alive, I can't afford to get my hopes up. That's why I say he's dead."

"I never…" Akihiko began.

"I know you never asked. I just thought I would tell you," she said, looking into his eyes. There was a sadness and a strength in her eyes that Akihiko had never really seen before. Her normal, chipper disposition had disintegrated in the face of tragedy in a way that no one could have predicted. For some reason, Akihiko wanted to bring back that light to her eyes. To see her smile like he had seen so many times before.

Akihiko nodded silently, opening the door and waiting until she was ready to leave.

Minako looked down at the face of her lover one last time, leaning down and pressing a kiss to his forehead, then one slowly on his lips. Leaning away, she closed her eyes, remembering his words…

"_This is how… it should be…"_

She squeezed the hand she still held, and followed Akihiko out of the room without another word.

On the sidewalk outside the hospital, she let out her breath and laughed, loud and ludicrously. She looked up at the sky and cried as she laughed.

"Minako?" Akihiko asked, putting a hand on her shoulder.

She lowered her voice and her head and chuckled, wiping away the tears. Turning to Akihiko she looked him in the eyes. "Thank you… for that— for today. I think seeing him is helping me let him go." Her smile was melancholy.

Astonished, Akihiko nodded. "Y- you're welcome." He was expecting… anger for putting her through that. Not… gratitude.

"So, anywhere else you'd like to go?" She asked, glancing at her watch and finding that it was after noon.

"That was all I had planned," he admitted, putting his hands in his pockets.

The breeze started to pick up and they could smell rain in the distance. "Wanna just head back to the dorms?" she asked, "I'd really like a nap."

Akihiko looked at her nervously.

Laughing awkwardly she added, "I promise I'm not going to cut. I'll even take the nap in the lounge if it makes you feel better."

Akihiko let out a sigh and a small laugh. "It would," he admitted.

"Sounds like a plan."

10/11 Afternoon

On their way back, the rain caught up with them.

Stuck under a small roof, the two caught their breath from running.

"Is this another tsunami?" she asked, having to shout over the crashing rain.

They were close, pressed up next to one another under the tiny roof. But they barely noticed.

"We can't risk waiting it out if it is!" he replied, trying to look at her but she was blurred by the water still streaming down his face.

"We're only a couple blocks from the door, wanna sprint it?" she asked, pushing her soaked bangs out of her eyes, only to have them flop back in place.

"If you're up for it," he yelled, "I am."

"Let's do it!"

In moments, she pushed herself out from under the roof into the downpour and was running. The water stripped her to the bone with chill and each droplet was like sharp rocks thrown on her back. But she pushed forward, begging her legs to move faster, carry her further. It was nearly impossible to see through the wall of water and mist around her, but she managed to find the steps up to the dorm. Bounding up them two at a time, she fumbled for her keys.

Akihiko caught up seconds later.

Her numb fingers shook as she tried to pull the key from the pocket of her jeans, but it felt cemented shut by the cold water.

Akihiko pulled his out of his pants' pocket with much more ease than her and reached around her, shoving the key nimbly into the lock and twisted it. They pushed the door open and practically tumbled inside.

Drenched, the two took a moment to catch their breath, the cold having stolen it.

"That wasn't very much fun," she laughed, her hands on her knees with every inch of her dripping.

"I agree," he chuckled.

Slowly, Minako straightened and began to walk. "Ugh, why do I have to live on the third floor?" she gripped as she began to walk up the stairs.

Akihiko followed her, stopping as she started up the steps to the third floor. "Meet back in the lounge?" he suggested.

"Yeah, but I might need you to help me cut these pants off," she laughed, a note of seriousness in her words.

"I'm not sure how much help I could be at that," he replied simply.

"Well let's see," she said, stopping a half a dozen steps up the staircase, "whether or not I can get these off on my own." She sat on the next step, flipped off her shoes, and tried to grab a hold of the calves of her pants to pull them off, but they wouldn't budge. Laughing awkwardly she said, "I didn't think I actually wouldn't be able to get them off." Looking at Akihiko both pleadingly and apologetically she asked, "Help?"

Swallowing, he stepped up the case. "How?"

"Just pull on the bottoms," she instructed, leaning back on her elbows and holding her feet out to him.

Nervously, he did as she said, and pulled on her jeans. They stuck and he pulled harder. Eventually they slid off and Akihiko let go of them. His eyes widened at the sight of her legs. They were longer than he thought, and milky white (though stained red from the cold), but that didn't catch his eye. Cuts stamped her thighs just like they did her abdomen.

Having forgotten about them completely, Minako quickly stood, blushing through her already red cheeks. She opened her mouth to speak, but instead just grabbed her pants and scrambled up the stairs without a word.

Akihiko found himself speechless and confused. Turning around, he entered his room and changed quickly. Still cold, but less so without wet clothes, he found himself wandering up the stairs and then in front of her closed door.

Knocking, he called, "Minako?"

"It's open," he heard her say.

Cautiously, he opened the door. She was standing in front of her full-length mirror, naked save for her underwear and sports bra. Blushing and looking away, he asked, "Aren't you freezing?"

"Do you think they'll scar?" she asked, not even looking at him.

A little confused, he looked up at her. Her lips were in a taught line, eyes were dark. She wrapped her arms around herself and when she turned to look at him, tears were in her eyes.

"I don't want another reason to remember," she said, a sniffle muffling her words.

"They're just superficial wounds, so they shouldn't scar," he said, not knowing what else to tell her.

She chuckled softly, rubbing away her tears ineffectively with her wrists. "That's good," she laughed.

He didn't speak as she pulled on a baggy t-shirt and a pair of pajama bottoms. Tugging her comforter untucked from her bed, she trucked out of the room as if nothing had happened. Akihiko watched her walk down the hallway for a couple seconds before following her down the stairs.

In the lounge, she snuggled up on one of the long couches under her blanket using the soft armrest as a pillow. Akihiko took a seat in an armchair.

Only a couple of minutes after they were settled in, Akihiko reading a book, did Minako speak, "I'm still cold."

Akihiko took a moment to respond, "Do you want me to get you another blanket?"

Minako sat up and looked at him. "No, but can you…" she bit her lip, a little bashful. "Would you hold me?" It felt awkward, to say the least, asking him for the favor, especially one so intimate, but Minako was really cold. And desperate times called for… strange measures, right?

Akihiko looked at her blankly for a minute before dog-earing his page and setting the book on the coffee table. He stood and took a couple steps over to her couch. A few awkward moments ensued where the pair tried to find a comfortable position to both fit on the couch. They settled in under the blanket spooned together, him behind her with his back to the back of the couch.

She could feel his warm breath on her neck and smiled. Snuggling in a little further, she reached around for his hand and took it in hers before pulling it around her.

"Thank you," she whispered.

His laugh tickled the back of her neck.

It had already been a long day and they easily drifted off in a companionable silence.

TBC...

**(1) **I looked at screenshots of the game and fan art and half the time his eyes are grey and half they're brown, so I just took a shot in the dark. Feel free to correct me if I got it wrong.

Wow. Haha… This is one of the longest intro chapters I've ever written for a fanfiction. I'm kind of in virgin territory for this one, too. I've never really written tragedy before or touched on self-injury, so I apologize if it wasn't that well-written.

I am very happy with this chapter, though, so I hope you enjoyed it too. This pairing is my OTP, and I'm having a lot of fun exploring it.

Please leave a review if you liked it, or if you didn't, let me know why. Please don't flame, though. That's just rude.

-Rikotsu


	2. Chapter 2

I apologize beforehand for skipping around to specific events and not others, but if you've played the game, as I'm assuming most/all of you had, it shouldn't be too confusing. There are just certain events that I think fit into this plot line better than others because I don't think that some of the events would have been changed enough to include them. Plus, I don't want this to just be me writing out the events of the game because that'd be boring for everyone including me.

WARNINGS: **SPOILERS!** (starting at about October 4th, but this fiction might go through the end of P3P); S!LINK spoilers; angst, self-injury/depression; Minako is the female main character and, as such, is written subjectively from how I think she would react and act in the game based upon if she built up certain social links.

Disclaimer: I do not own Persona 3, Persona 3 Portable, or any of the characters and storyline from them. I also do not own some of the speech taken from events in the game and social link events that is included in events here. The writing here and certain storyline elements that differ from the game are mine.

Summary: SPOILERS! After October 4th, Minako is lost and her heart is torn to pieces. How could happiness find her again amidst all the forces vying for a chance at taking her life... including herself? One person will brave the void for her, his only hope that she won't be lost forever. Love had nothing to do with it, but maybe, in the end, it will.

Genre(s): Angst/Romance/Tragedy

Words this Chapter: 6,973

"**Tick-tock Goes the Glass Wristwatch"**

**Rikotsu-sama**

Chapter 2

"_You can love someone so much…but you can never love people as much as you can miss them."_

_-John Green_

Over the next few weeks as midterms came and went, Minako and Akihiko found themselves spending an increasingly large amount of time together. A routine formed between the two of getting up early, walking to the gym together, and spending an hour sparing or working out before classes.

The time they spent together was often quiet. Little conversation was needed after that first day. They didn't talk about Shinji, though there were constant reminders of the hole he left behind haunting them. They didn't talk about her cutting, though Akihiko liked it when Minako worked out in just a sports bra or short shorts so he could check. On days she wore sweats or a t-shirt, he worried. In general, he was still worried for Minako. She seemed all smiles and back to normal at school, not having missed a stride in class or with her friends and multiple clubs except for the week she had been in and out of class. But Akihiko watched her from time to time, and the smiles weren't smiles. They were masks, masks that she shed when with him. She didn't bother to smile or make small talk over breakfast because she knew he would call out her facade. It was some small relief to him that she would break down a small amount of her walls around him and that her cuts had healed and disappeared. Slowly, she was healing. And he hoped that he had helped with that.

In the last couple weeks of October, trips to Tartarus were increasingly frequent. Minako insisted on trips to save multiple people lost in the shadowy labyrinth and to train. Akihiko kept stride, accompanying her on each and every mission when others would grow tired and stay home. Minako's stamina had noticeably increased since the day none of them really had a name for, staying in Tartarus pummeling shadow after shadow night after night until the last minute of the dark hour. The others began to worry for her health, since she had never before had the energy or desire to spend every one of her nights training, but she insisted that it was helping her cope with the tragedy. No one questioned her again.

The evening of November 2nd, SEES assembled to discuss their last operation. Minako was considerably quieter than previous meetings.

**11/3 W Dark Hour**

Walking towards the Moonlight Bridge, the team is quiet.

Takaya and Jin stand still, watching as SEES approaches.

Takaya is the one to break the silence, "You know the significance of today, do you not? You claim you hunt the Shadows to prevent the disaster they bring… Yet, countless lives are lost each day without their intervention. The power we wield is not itself evil... You cannot deny that. So why don't you just admit it? You do not wish to eliminate the Dark Hour… You are merely deceiving yourselves… Refusing to answer is the same as turning your back. You are indeed foolish children… Erasing the Dark Hour is the same as erasing yourselves. Tch. Is even that beyond your comprehension? As I believed, our goals are irreconcilable. Jin…"

Jin scoffs, "Forget these maggots."

"Fate shall decide who will prevail," Takaya states, looking straight at Minako. "...Come."

Her response was instantaneous, even Takaya had not expected her to be so quick. She darted forward, not bothering to take her naginata off her back or her evoker from her hip and threw a punch straight at Takaya's nose. A sickening crack sounded as he stumbled backwards. Jin didn't wait for her to go at him next, pulling out a gun and aiming it. Minako was on him before he could fire, hitting the gun out of his grip and landing a kick to his stomach.

Akihiko threw himself at Takaya before the man had the chance to regain his composure. He got in a couple punches before Takaya had his evoker to his head and pulled the trigger. Akihiko screamed as pain shot down his spine. In moments, however, the rest of SEES had joined him and Minako.

The fight didn't last long, seeing as Strega was so vastly out numbered.

The dialogue of the two battered men she detested went by quickly, but she watched as the two swung their legs over the railing. Her eyes widened and had a sudden compulsion to stop them from their imminent action. She stepped forward, holding an unnoticed hand out slightly.

"I'd rather die than surrender to you!" Jin shouted, fury like venom inside his words, "Take a good look! This is how we live!"

They seemed to jump in slow motion. Or maybe it was more like allowing gravity to pull them down. It was hundreds of feet to the surface of the water. The impact alone would surely… Let alone the nearly-freezing temperatures of the water.

Minako dropped her hand to her side, realizing the futility of her thoughts. When someone got to that point, where giving up is the best option, there was almost no looking back. And there was almost nothing you could do for them. Her hands lifted to her stomach where the cuts had, thankfully, not scarred physically. But the sting still lingered.

Maybe that's what Shinji had done: taken the fall for something he believed in above all else. He'd stood for something and taken responsibility for his mistakes at the expense of his life. But that's where Takaya and Jin differed from Shinji. They jumped. Shinji was pushed.

"Leader?" It was Yukari's voice.

Minako shook her head and out of her thoughts. "Hm?" she asked, unsure of the looks her team was giving her.

"Why are you crying?"

She lifted her hand to her face and lifted back damp fingers. She hadn't even noticed the tears. A sad half-smile breached her lips. "I don't know."

"The shadow is waiting on the other end of the bridge and we only have half an hour left of the Dark Hour," Fuuka pointed out, turning everyone's attention back to the task at hand.

"The last shadow…" Yukari whispered.

"The operation has only begun. Our true adversary is waiting… Focus on that, right?" Mitsuru said.

Minako took a deep breath and wove past a couple of her teammates, advancing towards the shadow. At least that would distract her weary, wandering mind.

**11/5 Th Late Night**

Standing outside his door, Minako is hesitant to knock. Taking a deep breath to push the frog in her throat, she knocks. Quietly at first, then a little louder.

Akihiko opened the door. The sight of Minako clutching a pillow to her chest like a cross wasn't what he expected. "It's late, you can't be here…" he whispered.

"Please…? I just need to sleep with someone else in the room," she pled, looking up at him with desperate eyes.

For a few moments, all he could do is stare at her, eyes blank. Finally, he sighed, stepping aside and letting her bustle inside. Akihiko's room was tidy as always, a hung punching bag motionless in the dim light of his desk lamp. Minako plopped her pillow down on the floor next to his bed which was immediately met by Akihiko saying, "Take the bed."

Minako looked at her… friend? Could they be called that by now? They certainly spent enough time together to be viewed as such. Their relationship was still ambiguous to her, however. She honestly hadn't thought he would let her in, let alone offer her his bed. Maybe that could tell her a lot about how far they'd come.

"No, I couldn't take the bed when you're already breaking the rules to do me a favor," she insisted.

Akihiko shot her an incredulous glance. "Take it."

"We could share," she suggested. "It's not like we haven't shared a couch before."

"Fine. I have to finish this assignment, then I'll join you," he muttered, taking a seat at his desk and diving straight back into the half-finished assignment on his desk.

"Thanks…" Minako muttered, picking up her pillow and snuggling into half of Akihiko's bed. It was comforting for her, to hear him breath and scratch away at the assignment.

Akihiko finished in five or ten minutes then turned off the light, stripped off his shirt, and cautiously laid in bed next to her. He didn't know what else to call Minako… his…? She wasn't his anything. She was just… her.

"Hey, Akihiko…?" she whispered, rolling over to look at him.

"Yes?" he responded, looking at her blurry form mostly consumed by the covers.

"Do you still miss him?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

Akihiko found himself smiling sadly. "Every day."

"Yesterday, the picture we took before…" she felt no reason to mention by name the horrors that had taken place at Tartarus or the fate of the Chairman and Mr. Kirijo that had transpired the previous night.

"Yeah…"

"I can't look at it… I keep wondering where Shinji would have stood. Where his hand would have been. If he would have smiled…"

"You shouldn't…"

"I know. I just can't help it. He was just as much a part of SEES as any of us… maybe more so than many of us… I can't think of a SEES group photo without him."

"I know what you mean," he whispered.

A melancholy silence separated them as they drifted off.

**11/6 F Early Morning**

Minako woke up first, and blinked open her eyes, the sparse light from the windows forcing her irises to contract. Yawning, she tried to stretch, only to discover she was snuggled up to Akihiko, his arm tight around her stomach. She laughed a little. She had never imagined Akihiko to be a snuggler. Nevertheless, feeling him so close to her was nice… was comforting… Like maybe he really could shield away all the pain and darkness still lingering inside her chest.

In the weeks… now a full month, since Shinji… died, the blade of pain against her heart had dulled. But the sting still crept inside. She missed him more and more each day.

It startled her when the alarm clock on the desk a few feet away started blaring. She wrenched herself from Akihiko's embrace as he grappled with consciousness. Wandering over to the clock, she punched buttons at random. Eventually, the horrible beeping stopped. With a sigh of relief, Minako looked at the time. 6:30AM. Just enough time for them to get ready and go to the gym before school. Glancing at Akihiko, who was still rubbing his eyes, she decided they could skip the gym today. Fumbling for the snooze button, she gave them an extra hour.

Climbing back into bed, she snuggled up to Akihiko again, pulling his arm around her again.

"Minako?" he asked sleepily, protesting slightly. "What about the gym…?"

"No gym today. Just sleep," she answered, feeling his muscles relax.

"Fine with me…" he mumbled before falling right back asleep.

When the alarm sounded for a second time, Minako awoke even more sleepy than before. Their roles reversed from the last time they woke. Akihiko climbed out of bed, seemingly wide awake, to turn off the alarm clock while Minako was left rubbing her eyes, squinting against the river of light making its way into the room.

"You need to get back to your room before someone else finds you here," Akihiko told her, his back turned to her as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"Right…" Minako murmured, sitting up and stretching. Even in Mitsuru's absence, she knew being found in a boy's room at the dorms would be more that slightly annoying. Pushing off the covers, she stood and wandered to the door, leaning on the frame a moment. Turning back to him, she just said, "Thank you," before cracking open the door, catching a peek, and sneaking out swiftly. She closed the door behind her, but Akihiko still felt a lingering of her presence both in the scent on his sheets and on his skin.

He didn't know when he had let down his walls for her. But, obviously, they were down. Any other person coming to his door late at night asking to "just not sleep alone" would have been turned down without a second thought. He had not only allowed her entrance, but let her share the bed. Sighing, he raked a hand through his bed head. He didn't know what was happening anymore with Minako. Nothing had changed in nearly two weeks. Still the fake smiles and somber determination during training. He wondered what had caused her to crawl to him in such desperate shape. Was it the "final" mission? In hindsight, he was surprised she had held up so well afterward considering she had now witnessed the deaths of four more people including Shinji's killer.

Frustrated with his swarming thoughts and lack of solutions, Akihiko set upon getting ready for school to distract him.

**11/6 F After School**

Akihiko only had a chance to catch up with Minako after school.

"Hey, Akihiko," she greeted as he fell in step beside her down the hallway. A fake smile plastered to her lips, she greeted a couple classmates or club friends as they wove their way down the hallway.

"We should talk," he said, putting a hand on her arm.

"About what?" she asked as they descended the stairs near the athletic wing.

"About last night." She glanced over at him and for a moment her smile faltered.

"There isn't anything to talk about," she murmured as they passed the persimmon tree.

"But—"

"I was feeling lonely and didn't want to sleep alone. And that's that."

"But why last night? What was different about last night compared to every other night since…" He didn't bother finishing his sentence.

Minako stopped at the door to the girl's locker room, turning to look at him with anger in her eyes. "I don't want to talk about it, Akihiko. So drop it."

"Minako…"

"I've got tennis practice… see you," she said, not looking at him again before she entered the locker room.

Standing just on the other side of the door, Minako heard him curse before walking away. She sighed. She didn't want to tell him she didn't want to be alone so she could ensure she wouldn't cut again. He already looked at her like she was damaged. She couldn't handle seeing the look on his face when he saw the cuts again. Just thinking about it churned her stomach into knots.

She laughed a little as she headed for her locker and started to change for practice. Why did she even care what Akihiko thought? She didn't even know if they were friends and she never cared what anyone thought of her anyways. What made him different?

"Minako!" Rio's voice snapped Minako out of her thoughts to discover she had been staring at her half-tied shoe for who knows how long. "C'mon, we're starting drills."

Minako threw Rio a smile and said, "Coming."

Practice was a nice endorphin rush considering she hadn't worked out that morning. As the sun started to set and the light turned golden, Rio called it for them to shower. It was getting chilly and her and Rio talked about how they would have to move practice inside for the winter pretty soon as they showered off they hard workout.

"So how're things with you-know-who?" Minako asked when their conversation stalled.

Blushing, Rio giggled. "Fine, I guess. What about you?"

"Me?" Minako asked, confused. The two continued to change back into their uniforms as they spoke.

"Aren't you and Akihiko… together?" Rio asked.

Minako let out a loud laugh. "No, not at all. I'm not even sure if we're friends."

"Oh?" Rio seemed surprised.

"What? Is the rumor that we're a couple?" she asked, pulling on her shoes.

"Yeah, I mean you're seemingly together every minute outside class and clubs. You come to school together every day and are always sitting together during lunch." Rio picked up her bag and began the trek out of the school.

Minako followed her friend. "I guess we do spend a lot of time together. I never noticed it was that much time."

Rio laughed. "Were you always this oblivious to when a boy liked you?"

"What?" Surprised, Minako nearly missed a step and tripped, but caught herself.

"He likes you. You can just tell by the way he looks at you."

Minako paused before replying as they exited the school, only a few other students trickling out after clubs. "I doubt that…"

He did let her sleep in his room, in his bed no less, with almost no questions. He tracked her down to see what was wrong every time something was up. Only a fool would miss the fact that he cared for her now. In the last month, he had started to smile around her. He had let down his walls for her and she hadn't even noticed the change because she was so wrapped up in her own misery. What else had she missed…?

Minako bid Rio goodbye at the gate and started home.

When she entered the dorm, Akihiko was asleep in one of the armchairs, a book open on his chest. Not wanting to talk to him, she walked by as quietly as possible and snuck upstairs. Greeted Junpei on his way down and made it to her room undisturbed.

"Great… I'm alone," she murmured to herself as she set down her school bag and taking off her shoes. Un-zipping her uniform jacket, she hung it on the back of her chair and took a seat there. Minako took a deep breath and pulled the razor from the notch in her desk, holding loosely between two fingers.

The memories rushed in like a monsoon, tightening her chest.

_Boom._

The gunshot rang through her ears over and over again.

"_Take a good look! This is how we live!"_

_They seemed to jump in slow motion. Or maybe it was more like allowing gravity to pull them down._

The sight of Jin and Takaya disappearing over the railing tugged at her heartstrings with a vicious ferocity. She… had killed them. She hadn't pushed them off that bridge, but her hatred for Shinji's murder had all but done if for her. Sure, Takaya had killed Shinji and Jin would have if Takaya hadn't, but… they were people too. Surely they had families… friends… lovers? She had taken them away from those who loved them just as they had taken Shinji from her. Was that fair? An eye for an eye?

She gasped for air as she pushed back the already falling tears.

Murdering a murderer doesn't make you any less of a murderer yourself. Just because someone deserved to die doesn't justify that. The whole world would be blind if it did…

Pushing aside her thoughts, she pulled up her shirt and made a clean cut with the razor she already held. She sucked in air through her teeth at the pain, but smiled. Concentrate on that pain, she told herself. It makes the rest disappear. She made cut after cut across her stomach until all she could feel was the sting.

Breathing heavily, she stood and looked at herself in the mirrors, again the blood marring her skin. She wiped away the blood and changed, finally apathetic.

She concentrated on her schoolwork for a few hours, getting all the assignments due the next day done before lying in bed for what felt like hours, unable to fall asleep.

"Dammit," she whispered, rubbing her face down into her pillow.

Standing, she wandered out into the hallway after shoving her room key in her pocket.

**11/6 F Late Night**

Akihiko opened his door to the sight of a sheepish Minako sitting on the ground against the opposite wall. "How long have you been sitting there?" he asked her, closing his door behind him.

"I don't know. A while," she murmured, hugging her knees closer to her chest.

Akihiko didn't know what to reply, he just shoved his hands in the pockets of his sweats and waited.

Minako sighed into the silence. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Being a bitch today. There are a million nicer ways I could have told you I didn't want to talk about why I went to you last night." When he didn't reply, she continued. "And I'm sorry for pushing you away. I know you're just being nice to me and I haven't thanked you for that. I've done nothing for you when you've worked so hard to keep me afloat the last few weeks. I've been so ungrateful and I feel horrible about that." She didn't look up from her knees until a minute had passed and he still hadn't said a word.

"Say something…" she whispered, again looking away.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked, hands still in his pockets.

"I don't know. But… will you tell me why? Why you always look at me with those worried eyes of yours and why you care so much about me and…"

"Because you're not the person I thought you were."

"Who did you think I was?"

"Another Mitsuru, to be honest."

"But you and Mitsuru…"

"Are very close, yes. But I wouldn't want two of her in my life. One is enough. You burst in with your peppy charm, natural leadership, and keen instincts in battle not to mention that ability of yours to switch personas and took over. You befriended everyone, infiltrated almost every club, and even impressed Mitsuru. I thought you were another Miss Perfect."

"But I'm not."

"And that's why."

"You care about me because I'm not perfect? How silly. No one's perfect." Minako laughed.

"But you don't pretend to be around me like Mitsuru does. She never lets her walls down for anyone… not even me. But you…" his words trailed off.

"I…?"

"You let me see you fall apart. Even if you don't mean to, you trust me enough to see you at your weakest."

Minako laughed a little as she stood. "I certainly haven't meant to… you're just always there when I break down…"

"You came to _me_ last night…" he pointed out.

"Because I'd rather you see me break down than anyone else… I don't really know why, but I care what you think of me. I… trust you more than anyone else. When I woke up this morning, I felt safer in your arms than I had since before Shinji died." She sighed, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. "You confuse me, Akihiko."

"I'm sorry," he stated blatantly, feeling like he was somehow inconveniencing her.

"No, no don't be. I'm thankful, just not sure where we stand. Are we… friends?"

He waited a long moment before answering. "Yes, I think we are…"

She let out the breath she hadn't know she was holding. "Good…"

A silence surrounded them filled with their confessions. They just stood in the dim hallway, not saying a word for a few minutes.

"So, why _did_ you come to me last night, if you don't mind me asking?" he wondered aloud, his eyes on her fiddling fingers.

"Because…" she began, pausing. Should she show him? He would see them sometime anyway… No use in hiding them. "This is why." She lifted her shirt, exposing the still-red cuts.

He gasped, "Minako…" He reached out for her hand, but she pulled away, letting the shirt cover up the wounds again. "When…?"

"Today…" she murmured, ashamed of her actions. "I'm sorry… I just needed a release."

"There's got to be a better way for you to cope," he said, dropping his lifted hand to his side. "...What triggered this?"

"Jin and Takaya, I think," she answered hesitantly. "I… feel responsible for their deaths. And for the Chairman and Mr. Kirijo… if only I had anticipated the Chairman's actions… or not wanted revenge on Takaya so badly…"

"There's nothing you could have done to stop _any_ of that, you have to know that."

"But there must have been _some_thing I could have done to stop it all. I could have been stronger or more forgiving," she cried, tears pouring onto her cheeks. "And now their blood is on my hands…"

"Listen to me."

She swallowed between sobs, but didn't say anything else.

"None of their deaths were your fault. You are not responsible. So just stop the pity-party."

Minako stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, beginning to sob into his chest. "I'm sorry…"

He returned the embrace, holding her tight and resting his cheek on the top of her head.

"I'm sorry I'm so damaged… but thank you for being so nice to me. I… I'm scared of where I might be if you hadn't been here for me." Pulling her head away from his chest, she looked up at him with sad, bloodshot eyes. "Thank you…" she breathed.

"You're welcome..." he whispered, swallowing. He was keenly aware of how close they were. He hadn't even cared about how close they were when he woke up with her in his arms. What had changed in less than a day?

It happened fast enough that she had little time to react. He leaned down and kissed her. Softly, curiously. It was barely a brushing of the lips, but meant so much more. His scent saturated her senses like laughing gas, leaving her stunned.

In less than a moment, Akihiko broke away from her, muttered a good night, and closed his door behind him.

Minako was left alone in the silent hallway, dazed. "What was that?" she wondered aloud.

**11/7 Sa After School**

"Hey, Yukari," Minako greeted just after the bell rung. "Have you seen Akihiko today?"

"Hey, uh…" Yukari took a moment to think. "No, I haven't seen him since yesterday. Why?"

"I just… need to talk to him is all," she replied, a small blush thinking back to the kiss creeping up on her cheeks.

"Speaking of which, why are you asking me where he is anyway? You two are practically joined at the hip," Yukari asked her friend as they made their way out of the building.

"I dunno, I just… Don't know. Thanks, though, for your help," Minako muttered. Maybe he already went home? No, he had boxing practice today.

"Sure, no problem," Yukari paused. "Hey are you two, like… dating?"

Minako laughed. "It seems Akihiko and I are the only ones who don't think so."

"Oh, sorry. You just look like…"

"It's fine, Yukari. I've just had a couple other people ask me the same thing lately. I'm not mad," Minako insisted.

"Oh, good," Yukari sighed, laughing with her friend.

"Well, I'm gonna go check for him in the mat room. See you later, Yukari."

"Later." Yukari watched her friend dodge through the sea of students fleeing school for the weekend. She wondered when Minako would notice that she'd fallen for Akihiko. Time would tell, she speculated.

Minako entered the mat room in a matter of minutes and scanned the pairs of people sparring for Akihiko, but couldn't find him. She asked the team manager if he was here and she said he had stopped by but had said he wasn't feeling well so he went home.

Sighing, Minako sprinted for Tatsumi Port Station, hoping to catch him, but when she arrived he wasn't there. The monorail ride was quiet and she walked slowly back to the dorms, knowing he was already there if that's where he had gone. She greeted Fuuka in the lobby and headed up to the second floor.

She knocked on Akihiko's door to no response. She knocked again, louder this time. "C'mon, Akihiko. I know you're in there!" she shouted, pounding on the door. "Dammit, Akihiko. Talk to me!" Defeated from pounding on his door for at least five or ten minutes, Minako gave up and went to her room.

Inside, Akihiko sat on his chair, staring at the door. He didn't want to talk to her. He had done something foolish, something stupid and didn't want to hear that from her too. She meant more to him than he was willing to admit, and for that reason he didn't want to hear from her too just how badly he'd screwed up. He knew full well she was in love with Shinji whether or not he was here with them. He didn't know why he had kissed her. He couldn't fill Shinji's shoes even if he had wanted to, which he hadn't. Everything was going great with them just being friends. Minako was healing despite the relapse, and that's all he had ever wanted for her or from her. To heal so that she could stay their leader, keep SEES in tact and defeat the shadows.

He growled in frustration, raking his fingers through his hair.

So why did he want to kiss her again?

**11/8 Su Evening**

"Why would he just kiss me and then avoid me?" Minako gushed to her elderly friend.

Mutatsu seemed amused, giving her an incredulous look. "How does a pretty, popular, smart girl like yourself not know the answer to that?"

Minako looked up at her friend, her eyes a little blurry. She had stolen one of his drinks while he went to the bathroom. Maybe that would help ease her nerves and confusion. It hadn't helped at all yet, just made her vision a little blurry and thoughts a bit muddled. Mutatsu had already scolded her for drinking it, but nothing else.

"Would I be asking if I already knew the answer?" she asked sarcastically, running her fingers through the hair she hadn't bothered to pull back that day.

Mutatsu laughed heartily. "I think the answer is simple, you just don't see that. Then again, the matter that's the answer has never been simple for anyone."

"I just don't know what to do." She blubbered, stealing Mutatsu's half-empty glass of vodka tonic and downing it.

"Woah, girl. You're really drinking to get drunk, but I don't think that will help you solve your problem," he scolded. "C'mon. Get up and get home. Let him come to you. He'll go to you when he's ready to talk. Now get."

"Alright, alright," Minako swatted away his words, but stood (albeit shakily). And was on her way with only a small goodbye.

What did that mean? A matter that's not simple for anyone? Her thoughts were mixed up and was unsure of what to think.

**11/9 M Early Morning **

The alarm that went off at 6:30 A.M. wasn't familiar. The sound pounded against her skull like a jackhammer and even attempting to open her eyes only made it worse. She groaned and burrowed her face deeper into the pillow as the form beside her moved to turn off the alarm. When the beeping stopped, Minako sighed. the pounding in her head lessened but didn't go away. So this was a hangover. Not an experience she would want to repeat in the future.

"Minako, wake up." She wasn't surprised that he was the one she went to the previous night.

"I'm awake," she groaned as he shook her leg lightly.

He didn't say anything more, just waited, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Minako rolled over and squinted up at him. "Akihiko, can you tell me why I slept in your room?"

He sighed and didn't answer. Standing, he grabbed his water bottle and handed it to her. "For the hangover."

The air was tense. Akihiko had his guard up. What had she said to him the night before? She tried to look back, but it hurt and all her memories were of blurry shapes and lines starting from when she got back to the dorm. Damn it. Maybe getting over this hangover would help.

She gladly took the water but didn't thank him. She drank it, then handed it back.

"C'mon. Let's get to the gym," he insisted, refusing to acknowledge the awkwardness. He was trying to act as if the previous night didn't even exist.

Again saying nothing, Minako scooted off the bed and stood, suddenly dizzy. She sat back down on the bed to steady herself and looked down at her knees. Stealing Mutatsu's drinks was stupid. She knew that. But getting drunk helped him avoid his problems, she just thought it would do the same for her. Obviously that was foolish.

She dug her fingers into her pajama bottoms only to discover they weren't hers. Grey and white plaid flannel. They were Akihiko's. Dammit, why was she wearing Akihiko's pants? She wracked her memory for why, but her memory didn't go that far.

_She pounded on his door with no regard for the lateness of the hour. "Open up, Akihiko!"_

_It took a minute of continuous pounding, but a sleepy Akihiko opened his door, half-leaning on the door. His hair was a mess. He must have been sleeping, but in her half-drunken state didn't care that she had woken him. _

_She barged in, pushing past him and then turning on him as he closed the door._

Her memory fuzzed out from there. She sighed and tried to stand again. Steadier this time, and painfully conscious of Akihiko's stare, she left the room without a word.

The walk up the stairs wasn't pleasant, but she managed to change into sweatpants and a fresh t-shirt as well as pack her bag with her uniform and shower essentials. Looking in the mirror she combed out most of the snags in her disheveled hair and pulled it back into a ponytail.

"Dammit," she cursed, leaning on the edge of the sink. She felt sick to her stomach and still couldn't remember what happened no many how times she ran through what she _did _ remember in her head. But the memories were creeping back. She should just give it time.

"_Minako, it's late," he said, as if that would get her to just go away. _

"_I don't care. I'm sick of you avoiding me!" she yelled, a few of her words a little slurred._

_He rubbed some of the sleep out of his eyes. "I'm not avoiding you."_

"_The hell you aren't!" She balled her hands into fists. _

"_Are you…" he leaned forward a bit to sniff her breath. "Drunk?"_

"_No," was her simple answer. She didn't want to tell him she had a couple drinks. It wasn't any of his business if she was drunk anyway. "Why are you avoiding me?"_

"_I told you. I'm not," he stated, crossing his arms._

_Minako laughed disbelievingly. "Stop lying. I see right through it. Just answer my question."_

"_I'm not avoiding you. I just wanted some time alone to think."_

"_Even if that were true, you couldn't give me the common courtesy of telling me that?" She was starting to cry more out of fury than sadness. "You've always been so nice to me. What the fuck changed to make you into this jerk you're being right now?"_

"_N—" he began._

"_No. Shut up. I'm not finished. You have no right to do this to me. To be so nice to me, get me to trust you, then turn around on me and screw with my emotions. You have no right to shake me up like this!" she shouted in his face. _

Tossing back a couple painkillers for the headache and grabbing a granola bar from the box by her desk, Minako headed downstairs. Akihiko was waiting in the lobby for her, like normal.

They didn't talk on the way to the gym.

They shared Akihiko's locker as normal and went to the same off-shoot room they always did. It felt like any ordinary day except for the miasmic thickness in the air.

Grabbing mats, they started to stretch, not looking at each other.

_Akihiko's face was stoic, as if he had already steeled himself against the very thing she was saying to him before she even said it. _

"_Dammit, did you even mean it when you said we were friends?" she accused._

"_Of course I did!" he insisted, not having seen that coming unlike the rest of her rant._

"_That's such bullshit, though. Our 'friendship'—" She emphasized with air quotes. "—is such a joke. Our friendship is founded on someone's death. What's more pathetic than that?"_

"_Minako, that's not true!"_

"_But it is, Akihiko! We're here because Shinji's gone! You hated me before we lost him. If he was still here, we wouldn't be here like this. You would still hate me. I would still not understand why, but not really care because I would have Shinji."_

"_But we did lose him! There's no point in battles of 'what if this happened'!"_

"_Nevertheless, there's no logical reason for us to be friends. We have nothing at all in common except we both loved Shinji!"_

The memories were starting to flood back by then.

"Exercises today?" Akihiko asked, breaking the silence as he stood and put away his mat.

"I'd rather spar," Minako replied matter-of-factly, following suit with her own mat.

"Fine."

After wrapping their hands with sports tape, the two stood across from each other near the middle of the small room.

"_This is stupid. You're drunk and saying things you don't mean. C'mon, let's get you to bed," Akihiko insisted, taking her arm and steering her towards the door. _

"_No. You have much more to answer for!" she screamed at him, wrenching herself out of his grip. _

"_Like what?"_

"_Like why did you kiss me! It's obviously the reason you're avoiding me— oh sorry, why you 'need to think'." Again, she mocked his lies with air quotes. _

_He sighed, frowning down at her. _

"_What, are you afraid to tell me? Is it because you like me? You want me for my body?" she ridiculed, fiddling with the zipper on her skirt before dropping it. _

"_What are you—"_

"_Isn't this what you want?" she jeered as she pulled off her sweater and threw it at him. _

"_Minako, stop!"_

"_Dammit fucking tell me! I'm sick of guessing!" _

They looked at each other, really at each other, for the first time that morning. Gray met crimson and they stared each other down for a moment before taking their stances.

"Go!" Minako shouted, jumping forward at him.

He barely dodged her fist and didn't get even a moment to recover before she struck out again. She was faster than normal. More vicious. More intent on hitting him than the exercise. She had copious amounts of pent up anger spilling over from the previous night and hitting him was turning out to be exceptionally therapeutic.

"_I don't know why, Minako!" he started shouting too, anger rising up._

"_I'm so tired of you lying to me!"_

"_I just wanted to! That's why!"_

_Minako paused, looking up at him through tear-filled lashes._

"_I don't know why I wanted to, though," he admitted as their tempers simmered down._

Minako's heart wrenched at the memory. This wasn't happening. Akihiko wasn't falling in love with her. And it didn't make butterflies in her stomach to think about them kissing again. It wasn't real. It just couldn't be. She had only just lost Shinji…

But it only took her one month to fall for Shinji and for them to take it much further than kissing. Maybe she just fell fast, but…

Akihiko? It was like some cosmic joke. Shinji's best friend? It was like the ultimate betrayal. She couldn't let this go any further.

The sparring continued at a fast pace until Minako hooked her foot behind Akihiko's and flipped him down to the ground. They were dangerously close. She had him pinned, hands at his sides as both of them heaved heavy breath. Her heart was beating fast both at the proximity and the work out.

It was fast. He hooked his legs around her torso and flipped her over on her back, their roles reversed. Minako didn't know how he managed to catch her every moment that she let down her guard, but he did. And now he had her pinned to the floor of the gym, her hair splayed out behind her head.

When he leaned down curiously, she knew what came next and her breath hitched in her throat. No. Don't. Her thoughts turned to Shinji.

"_This is your fault, you know. I'm all confused."_

Akihiko was doing to her what she had done to Shinji. Confused, intoxicated.

"Dammit, this isn't how it's supposed to be…" she whispered.

She closed her eyes just before their lips touched. When it never came, she opened her eyes to Akihiko's gray eyes staring at her, his expression unreadable.

"Akihiko?" she wondered aloud as he stood, letting her go.

"I'm sorry…" he said, turning away from her, scratching the back of his head. "I never meant to…"

Minako didn't know what to say. She sat up and crossed her legs and stared at the floor. What happened now?

"We need to go or we'll be late to school," she said, breaking the silence.

"Right…" Akihiko murmured.

And again it was quiet. They showered down and changed into their uniforms, Minako faster than Akihiko. She stood, holding her bag and wondering if she should wait for him.

"I need time to figure this out," she said to him as he pulled on this pants and buttoned them.

"Okay."

"So… please let me have my space for a while, 'kay?" she asked, no longer looking at him.

"Okay."

"I'll… see you later," she muttered before leaving without him.

Akihiko watched her go as he pulled on his shirt and buttoned it. Yeah, he had really screwed up.

TBC…

I was searching for a while there for a place to stop and just couldn't find one. Oh well. I'm really pleased with how this is progressing. And soon… Ryoji. :P

Please leave a review if you liked it, or if you didn't, let me know why. Please don't flame, though. That's just rude.

-Rikotsu


	3. Chapter 3

I'm going to just leave out Aigis's… foreboding concerning Ryoji, since it doesn't much pertain to the plot I'm trying to include, but it may pop up later. Sorry if it's confusing.

Words this Chapter: 3,180

"**Tick-tock Goes the Glass Wristwatch"**

**Rikotsu-sama**

Chapter 3

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, then all at once."

_- The Fault in our Stars, _John Green

Even having left before Akihiko, Minako was late to homeroom that morning. Or rather, she took the long route and waited in the girls' bathroom outside until homeroom ended to enter class. Luckily, they didn't call her to the office for ditching again.

**11/9 M After School**

"Hey, Minako! C'mere, over here!" Minako had been putting her notebooks back in her bag when Junpei's voice called to her from across the classroom.

Closing her bag, Minako wandered over to a beckoning Junpei. "What's up?" she asked.

"You know the new transfer student, right? Has he been introduced to you yet?" Junpei wondered, putting a hand on the shoulder of a tall, slender boy with a bright (almost too bright) yellow scarf around his neck. Minako shook her head. "Anyway, this is Minako," Junpei said to the boy.

"Hello," the boy greeted cheerily, smiling at her.

"She transferred here earlier this year," Junpei explained.

"Oh… I see. I'm Ryoji Mochizuki. Nice to meet you," he said, extending a hand.

Taking his hand tentatively, Minako shook it. "Nice to meet you, too," she returned. Their eyes met and there was something… familiar in his eyes.

Ryoji held her hand for an awkwardly long time before letting go, though he didn't really seem to notice.

"Hey, what's wrong? What're you gaping at?" Junpei asked, confused at the odd look the two were sharing.

"Huh?" Ryoji snapped out of it first, turning to Junpei. "Oh, um… I just got the strangest feeling when I looked at Minako… It's like… I don't know… nostalgia? Have we met before?" He asked her, a peculiar sincerity in his tone.

Junpei laughed, "Wow, that's one of the oldest pickup lines in the book!"

"Th-that's not how I meant it… Anyway, I hope we'll get along," Ryoji offered.

Minako hummed, offering a small smile.

"I get the feeling that we'll become good friends. I'm looking forward to chatting with you more," Ryoji flirted. The strangeness in his demeanor had disappeared, again replaced by the flirtatious confidence he wore like a second skin.

"Likewise," Minako returned, making him laugh.

**11/12 Th Early Morning**

Minako's mornings had dulled without working out with Akihiko. She had, reluctantly, admitted she missed his quiet companionship. She was beginning to think that all of those things she had said to him were one huge, terrible mistake. She wished she hadn't taken those drinks, not only because of the hangover that had ended days ago, but also because of the ache in her heart that seemed to grow day-by-day.

"Huh? Minako?" The voice woke Minako from her thoughts on the monorail ride to school. She looked away from the window to find Ryoji squeeze between a couple people and step beside her, grabbing a handle from the rod above. "G'morning!" he said, smiling down at her.

"What a coincidence," Minako replied, a curious smile tugging at her lips.

"Some people might call it 'destiny'."

She looked up into his criminally blue eyes and wondered where she had seen them before. Everything about this guy was startlingly familiar, but she couldn't put her finger on just where she knew him from.

"Look…" he beckoned, pointing out the window. Her eyes followed his outside. "The sun's shining of the ocean beautifully. This view really lifts my spirits…"

It was beautiful, as he said. The light danced on the surface of the ocean as the monorail passed near it. The bustle and roar of the people and the monorail seemed to fade away and give way to the quiet. "I think I understand," Minako answered.

"Huh? Really?" Ryoji seemed surprised, but chuckled happily. "I'm glad to hear that." Minako let her eyes linger on the ocean a few moments longer before looking back up at Ryoji. When she did, Ryoji was looking back at her intently. "I thought that the world was being especially dazzling today… Could that be because you're standing here with me?"

Minako felt the heat rise in her cheeks at his flirtation. Obviously noticing her blush, Ryoji laughed pleasantly.

The intercom announced their approach towards the last stop on the monorail, causing Ryoji to look out the window again and break their eye contact. Minako was grateful for the break from his eyes because the contact was… intense. She was left breathing a little harder and her heart beating a little faster.

"Oh, we're almost at school already. That's a shame…"

Minako was looking out the window again, but felt his eyes on her. "Is school fun?"

Ryoji's laugh filled the air around them again. "Yeah, it's a lot of fun." She could hear the smile behind his words and found herself smiling too. "You know… It's probably because I can see you there." Minako's heart skipped a beat, but there was a sense of something strange behind it. Something... foreboding. "Everything's glimmering there, just like the ocean…"

She knew he meant that everything glimmered at school, but somehow got the impression he intended it to mean something different. This Ryoji Mochizuki was complicated and he confused her. She laughed a little, thinking of how she had told Akihiko the same thing.

"_You confuse me, Akihiko."_

"_I'm sorry."_

The monorail whirred to a stop, Ryoji said something and steered her off the monorail alongside the sea of others heading off. As they walked to school together, Minako was more mixed up in her own thoughts than anything else.

**11/15 Su Daytime**

Minako had begun spending a large amount of the time with the new transfer student out of curiosity and to get a break from the other complications in her life.

Ryoji had called her up that day and they met up at the Paulownia Mall, browsed for a bit and then settled down with steaming cups of coffee in the Chagall Café.

"This place is interesting," Ryoji commented, setting his cup down on his coster after taking a sip.

"Are you going to say it's because I'm here with you?" she asked, running her finger along the edge of the full cup of coffee.

Ryoji laughed, "You knew what I was going to say." His smile was the same as it always was: loud and ever so slightly lopsided. Akihiko's smiles were never loud…

"You know, all these people around us… I'll bet they're all couples," Ryoji observed.

Minako pushed away her lingering thoughts of Akihiko and looked around. Now that he mentioned it, she saw pairs of lovers everywhere in the café… Some where holding hands across the table, some were laughing with each other, others were talking softly.

"Being lovers means that there's nobody else in the world that you care more for, right?" Minako nodded subconsciously. "That'd be wonderful, if it were really true."

"It really happens," she stated, her eyes glued to the surface of her coffee that she still had yet to touch.

"_You're all I can think about, day and night…"_

Ryoji chuckled amiably, "I see." He paused and sighed before speaking again. "You know, sometimes I think… I would still like you, no matter if you were a guy or a girl."

Minako had to forcibly push back the lump in her throat from the thought of Shinji with a large gulp of the steaming hot coffee. She coughed a little before asking, "Why 'would'?"

He laughed again. "Well, we did just meet fairly recently, after all." He smiled gently. He must think fondly of her even though they hadn't even known each other a week.

"Actually, I'm lying," Ryoji confessed, flicking up his eyes from the tablecloth to meet hers and laughing sadly. "I'm positive that I've seen you somewhere before. When I'm with you, I just get this feeling that I'll find out how I know you, and we'll become closer… But, for some reason, that makes me want to cry." He glanced away from her. "...I've never cried before."

A silence fell over them, settling in like a steady rainfall on an Autumn evening. This Ryoji character was truly curious. Every time they met she seemed to pull back a layer and find substance behind the outrageous flirt he normally was. Plus… she really wanted to know where she knew him from and why she felt a sickness deep in her stomach every time she looked him in the eyes.

"I…" he started, pausing as if he was searching for the right words, "want to spend time with you alone like this. If I'm not bothering you, would it be all right if I asked you out again?"

Minako nodded, "You're not a bother at all."

"I see… I'm happy to hear that," he murmured, smiling to himself. "Oh! That reminds me. That school trip's coming up soon, right? Let's find some time to go somewhere together while we're there. Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it…" He laughed, this time his laugh filling the room unlike the sadness in it before.

**11/16 M Late Night**

She found it comforting to sit outside Akihiko's room. She had no intention to knock and talk to him yet. She was still working through her emotions, but nevertheless she found it comforting to sit on the paper-thin carpet in the quiet hallway with her knees pulled up to her chest. Just knowing he was close to her was very calming to her.

Setting her head on top of her knees, she let her eyes drift close.

"_I'm sorry I'm so damaged… but thank you for being so nice to me."_

"_You're welcome..."_

_It happened fast enough that she had little time to react. He leaned down and kissed her. Softly, curiously. It was barely a brushing of the lips, but meant so much more. His scent saturated her senses like laughing gas, leaving her stunned._

She sighed. She had relived that moment over and over in the last week or so.

"_Dammit, this isn't how it's supposed to be…" she whispered._

_She closed her eyes just before their lips touched. When it never came, she opened her eyes to Akihiko's gray eyes staring at her. _

That look in his eyes haunted her. He was as confused about this, as torn, as her. Shinji was his best friend. She was his best friend's girl. It couldn't be easy for him to have her around when she was a constant reminder of Shinji.

She had been selfish.

"_You have no right to shake me up like this!"_

He had every right to shake her up especially since he wasn't trying to. Akihiko had never tried to do anything but help her. It wasn't his fault if it had gone too far. And she had been horrible to him.

She needed to apologize because the truth was…

She missed him like crazy.

She missed taking the long walk to school with him and she missed the small smile on his lips when she made a good hit on him when sparring. She missed his quiet presence with her while they ate lunch on the roof and she missed watching him at boxing practice.

She had been completely wrong to call into question the legitimacy of their friendship. It wasn't just about Shinji anymore. True, Shinji's untimely death brought them together. But they stayed together because of each other. Exactly what cemented that glue she might never know. But it didn't much matter because he was her dearest friend now, no matter the reason.

And he had every reason to hate her.

The thought was enough to make her want to cry. She had screwed up. Big time. And she needed to apologize.

Opening her eyes, she looked at his closed door.

Not tonight, she decided.

She needed to quit coming to his room so late with important talks. She was going to get a good night sleep and hopefully find him somewhere on the school trip the next day. Maybe then they could talk.

**11/17 Tu Evening**

It was dark and the stars glistened overhead, even though you couldn't see them from the middle of Kyoto. You could see a few here and there - more than Tokyo - but still not many. The rustic street lamps lit the courtyard of the Godaigo Inn nicely.

"We're finally here! Whoa, nice place!" Junpei exclaimed from Minako's side.

"It _is_ an expensive area, after all," Yukari commented.

"Hey, what's that umbrella for?" Ryoji asked, stepping up on her other side.

Minako laughed, "Wanna get under it?"

"Doing anything together with you would be my pleasure," he flirted, "Say, why don't we go hang out somewhere together after we put our stuff away?"

Minako nodded, but Yukari cut her off, "What kind of reasoning is that?! Watch yourself around this guy, okay, leader? He'll go after any girl with a pulse."

Ryoji looked at her with an incredulous amusement. "Leader? That's no way to refer to someone so cute a name as Minako's." He turned to look Minako in the eyes and immediately that vague sickness spawned deep in her stomach. "Oh, and I don't just go for anyone. I want to get to know you better because… you're you. Though, I must say, we're getting along pretty well already." He chuckled, making Minako smile.

"Huh? What's with that chuckle? Wait don't tell me, are you two…?" Yukari's mouth was gaping.

Minako didn't notice though. Her eyes had drifted past Ryoji's blue eyes into the gray eyes of another who, though standing with a couple other guys, was also not paying attention to the conversation.

"Sorry…" Minako murmured as Aigis approached. "I'll see you guys later." She pushed past Junpei and walked up to him. "Akihiko, can we talk? Alone?"

He broke the gaze that they'd held all the way across the courtyard to say, "Excuse me guys. I'll catch up with you later."

Picking up his suitcase, they walked to the elevator together. It was packed with students heading up with bags and suitcases galore, and it took them a few minutes to reach the second floor. They exited last and she quietly followed him to a room down the long hallway. He swiped his keycard and she followed him inside. Luckily, it looked like all his roommates had already dropped off their stuff and gone elsewhere. She dropped her over-sized duffle bag by the door and watched him put his suitcase next to a set of bedding. He took off his shoes, balancing himself with one hand on the wall.

She couldn't help but admire the simple action because he looked… graceful. He didn't seem angry at her, more… reserved. Like whatever he was really feeling he was holding back. She swallowed. She really had missed being around him. All she wanted to do at that moment was hug him, hold him close. Feel his hands on her back, holding her in return.

Minako snapped herself out of her thoughts and refocused her eyes back on him. This time he was looking back at her. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She swallowed and, looking away from those calm slate eyes, tried again.

"I… miss you," she confessed, hands balled up at her sides.

He wanted to say the same, but he held back. He didn't know where this was going.

"...And I'm… sorry… so, so sorry, Akihiko," she apologized, tears in her eyes. "I said horrible things to you. And you've never done anything to deserve that. And I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I… I want to ask for it anyway because I miss you and I don't want to lose you too. I've already lost enough…"

He took a few steps forward without her looking up, but when he stepped up right in front of her, she looked up at him with sad crimson eyes through damp lashes. He lifted his thumb up to her cheek and wiped away a tear before pulling her close, letting her bury her face in his shoulder. One hand on the back of her neck, the other on the small of her back, he held her close.

Her heart pounded like a jackhammer against her ribcage. She pulled him taught against her with her arms that were linked around his shoulders. "Thank you…" she whispered.

They broke their embrace in a minute or two, but still stood only inches apart, just happy to be close.

But still… should he tell her? Should he apologize? It feel like he had done something wrong- something worth apologizing for when he kissed her.

Minako swallowed, pushing back her nervousness. "A—" she began, then stopped to clear her throat, "Akihiko, about the kiss—"

"Don't," he stated, cutting her off. "I- I'm sorry for that."

"That's not what I was going to say." She fiddled with the hem of his shirt and took another breath. "You're not Shinji."

He insisted, his eyes intense as he held contact, "I know I'm not… I never wanted to—"

"Shut up. Lemme say this:" She looked down at where their fingers now mingled. "You're not Shinji." She let her eyes slip back to his through wisps of her bangs. "But… That's okay. You don't need to replace him to have a special place in my heart. You shake me up like he never did."

"I don't follow."

Grasping his hands firmly, she stated, "That kiss was not a mistake. If you're feeling even a fraction of what I'm feeling now, that kiss was in no way a mistake." Minako pushed back the butterflies setting off firecrackers in her stomach one more time before leaning up into him, halting in the space where their breath danced together. Holding her eyes tight to his, she whispered delicately, "Now do you follow me?"

Akihiko swallowed the frog stuck in his throat, but the fog remained to cloud his head. "I— Uh— Yeah."

"_This _is how it's supposed to be."

The kiss was soft and intangible, but the rush of endorphins soon turned it rugged, feral. Akihiko pushed into her, backing her against the adjacent wall. They lost themselves in each other, in the delicious pressure of their skin separated only by their clothes, in the release of pent up emotion. They both surfaced unaware of themselves. Pushed flush together, arms tangled, they came to.

Breath hot on his neck, Minako laughed, "See? Definitely not a mistake."

"Uh, guys?"

The two snapped back to their surroundings at the sound of Junpei's voice. Peeling apart, they both blushed.

"Yeah. Hi, Junpei. Sorry," Minako stammered, glancing between Akihiko and Junpei awkwardly. "Uh— bye." She brushed past the intruder and, grabbing her bag, fled the scene.

….

TBC

Apologies for the immensely belated update. Life happens, and I re-wrote the last part more than once to get it just right.

Chapter four is… in the works. No promises when it might be up. Sorry!

-Rikotsu


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